hmm...hey!
i pretty much doubt anybody will read this...but anyways...
Quite a great moment to start this diary.
Im feeling...feelings!
i was always a person who never had "deep feelings"  for anybody...not even my friends. I always had awesome friends, but as much as i liked them and they were really close...i never had the chance to be compleately open. I kept tons for myself
i never liked the attention too much. Never was the one to say the funny things or to talk at all.
Until now.
Lately all that lack of feelings started to grow on me. I started to feel what a real friendship is like, what a real best friend acts like, but more than anything, i started to feel what love feels like...or at least what is it like to have nose butterflies in your tummy whenever you see that one you like...or what is it like to wait to see that person...or just what you feel when you hug someone you really need close and you just dont want that person, him, to ever leave because you'd be so sad...
but obviously things never are perfect.
i cant help but feel that im feeling this, for the wrong person. Someone who will never be that honest. Someone who's just out of a painful relationship...i just dont know what to think. what to say...or what to feel.
Part of me says "ignore everything and just enjoy this, it might not happen again" which is true...but the other nasty, old side of me is like "you know this is going down...they'll get back together you are sooo going to get dumped loser!"
and i dunno what to do
and what to feel
and what to think
i dont know...really i dont.